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IVF - Keeping my fingers crossed and legs open.

After 2 crazy years with our wonderful test tube baby, we've decided to revisit our scientist and Doctor friends and see if they can make us another. As it turns out, we quite enjoy this whole parenting thing. I remember how difficult this journey was for us last time. There were failed IUI's, miscarriages after a heart beat was heard and announcements had been made. There was a brand new baby girl's outfit that would never be worn, and a name chosen for a child that would never arrive. There were moments when I would pass a pregnant lady in Target and just break down in tears. I think every Doctor in Southern California has seen my lady bits, and most likely every pregnant woman in the Valencia Target between 2010-2013 has seen me crying. We laughed. We cried. Well, mostly Dan laughed at how often I cried. But we survived. And apparently, we've forgotten how hard it can be, because we've decided to try for another.

IVF again... and this time with a toddler in tow. I figured if there was anytime to start a blog - this was it. I'm not a writer. I'm a wife, a mother, a photographer, a lover of Sauvignon Blanc and musical theatre, a great storyteller but horrible speller. I'm fatter than I'd like to be and happier than I'd ever imagined possible. I'm excited and scared for this next journey into fertility. Excited by the potential of adding another awesome human to our family. Excited for my son to have someone to grow up with. A sibling to share in the joy of Christmas morning, or the torture of family vacations, and of course those late night rants about how crazy their mother is. I'm excited to watch my kids play (while I sip wine from the corner of the room relaxing, cause that's what life is with two kids is like, right?). I'm excited to hear him/her laugh for the first time and to imagine all the possibilities this world has in store for our new tiny person. I am equally scared. Desperately scared that it won't work. Because this is life, and very rarely does it go as planned. And this process takes a LOT of planning. A lot of needles, a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of emotions. It takes it all. And whereas last time I had it all to give, this time my main priority is my son. My 2 year old, 42 pound, always moving, full of laughter and mischief, son. There is no such thing as bed rest for a mother. And honestly, I can't see how we are going to navigate this. But we sure as hell are going to try.

So here goes nothing... Well, actually here goes about $20,000 and my whole frickin' summer... But who is counting, right? Wish us luck. As I like to say "I'm keeping my finger scrossed and legs open". And if this does actually work, and my future child is reading this, I'd just like to say for the record - You owe us BIG TIME kid. Also, please don't be twins.

#IVF #Fertility #Infertility

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