Counting my eggs before they hatch

This has been a week of ups and downs, all of it building to this morning's appointment. Today, I would finally be able to see my follicles, these teeny tiny things we've been working so hard to produce. More importantly, we get to see how many follicles we have to work with. Last round we had 12 and in the end, only two ended up being viable.

My doctor told me not to expect as many this round, given I'm three years older. But I went in wanting no less than 12 because I'm what some people call delusional, although I prefer the term “optimistic.”

I had trouble sleeping last night, partially because I was so excited for today's ultrasound. Who knew a trip to see my ovaries could be just as exciting as a trip to Disneyland? The other thing keeping me up was the fact that last night, while playing my normal game of darts, I managed to hit a blood vessel with my first injection. By far the smallest needle and dosage of them all, it's my "easy" shot.

I didn't even notice as I prepped the second injection, which takes some time. So when I looked down to inject the Follistim and saw the blood streaming down my stomach and on to the floor, I was caught off guard. My first thought was "holy crap, is the Leuprolide leaking out?!?!" It was then that I noticed a raised pea sized hard ball just under the skin at the injection point. I got the bleeding to stop, finished mixing my powders and loading the serums and gave myself the final two injections. Within a few hours the lump had gone down and a bruise had formed. Still, it felt like an amateur move.

Anyway, back to my follicles. As a musical theatre nerd, I sing about everything. Mostly to myself or my son. But today, in honor of the Tony Awards, I decided to let you in on the fun. This is what I've had stuck in my head all morning. Sing with me, to the tune of "I Hope I Get It" from A Chorus Line.

Sterilize, stick, flick, stab, flinch, inject...again!

Sterilize, stick, flick, stab, flinch, inject...again! Sterilize, stick, flick, stab, flinch, inject...again! Sterilize, stick, flick, stab, flinch, inject...right.

That connects with...

Pill, Pill, in, drink, prick, bruise,

Bruise, prick, prick, bleed, bloat, cry.

Got it?...

Right! Let's do the whole combination,

This time in front of your toddler.

From the top. A-Five, six, seven, eight!


God, I hope we get it.

I hope we get it.

How many follicles does he need?


How many blastocysts will we get?


God, I hope we get it.


I hope we get it.

How many boys, how many girls?


How many boys, how many...?


Look at all the follicles!

At all the follicles.

How many blastocysts will we get?

How many boys, how many girls?

How many follicles does he...?


We really want a kid.

Please God, we need this kid.

I've hope I get knocked up.

Back to the numbers. How many did we get, you ask? ELEVEN!!!!! We have 11 potential kiddos up in there with a few additional smaller stragglers that may or may not catch up.

No, it's not 12. But it's damn near close and I'm very excited! I felt like I was in a Mentos commercial. Had a large dildo shaped wand not been up my hoohah at the time, I may have jumped for joy. Instead I played it cool.

They are slowing growing. Only at 8mm. They won't retrieve them till they are closer to 18mm so we have a ways to go. My Wednesday appointment was cancelled. The nurse assured me that generally, the slower they grow the better the quality. "No one wants a fried egg" I joked.

She didn't laugh. I didn't care. I was still doing my imaginary mentos jump, picturing a freeze frame of me hovering mid-air with my arm raised above me and a cheesy open-mouthed grin.


Plenty of women get way more. But we got one beautiful kiddo last time with 12. So I'm hoping we can do the same here. Ultimately, it only takes one.

Cue music…ONE singular sensation, every little drug I take.....

We've handled the math. Touched on theatre. Now for a little science. If you want a long detailed version of what IVF is, this is a good read:

If you would rather enjoy an abridged, more entertaining and probably less accurate account, stay tuned to my blog. My next appointment is Friday. We'll get to see how things are going and growing. And I promise not to sing in that one.

#IVF #Infertility #Menopur #Fertility #Pregnancy #Follicles #eggs