Weighing In

It's been a while since my last update, mainly because I had nothing exciting to report. After my last visit with Dr. B, we were basically just playing the waiting game. With no word about the trial, I decided to focus my energy elsewhere. Dr. B gently pointed out at our follow up visit that the only thing different from my first successful IVF cycle and our last failed one, is my weight. And also my age.

So, let's take a moment to talk about the two things women love discussing most in the world - their age and weight!

I can't change my age. So, that is off the table. I have, however, managed to pack on 50 pounds since conceiving my son. I've always been on the voluptuous side, and that's okay. But before baby, I spent my free time working out. I obsessed about eating healthy. I was gluten free, sugar free, blah blah blah. It was hard work.

Above is what I used to look like pre-baby. Just Kidding. This is the Playboy magazine I doctored for Dan during our first round of IVF. I've never looked so good.... Or tan.

These days, my only workout is chasing my toddler and my daily meals include mac n cheese off the floor and a slobbered on banana. Gluten is also back in rotation because it turns out - Gluten is DELICIOUS people. I mean, wow!

But if you ask me what I want more, gluten or a baby, the answer is a baby.... most of the time. So, I went on Whole 30. No gluten, no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no sugar. In fact, it's quicker to tell you what I can eat: Eggs, Meat, Veggies, Nuts & some Fruit.

I lost 9 pounds the first few weeks. Then, I went to Sonoma for a dear friend's wedding and I drank ALL the wine. I returned home earlier this week, ready to begin again. I wasn't feeling a lot of pressure given that I hadn't heard from anyone regarding my cycle.

Just as I was contemplating one more glass (let's be honest, bottle) of wine, I got the email.

"Hi Sarah,

Hope this email finds you well. It looks like the study is up and running and ready for us to screen patients. I have attached a copy of the consent forms for your review. You do not need to sign them and return to me I just wanted you to review them prior to signing the documents in the office. What we have to do is get a calendar ready for you. In order to do so, please remind me if you started the birth control pills and if so, when did you start?

Thank you"

Holy shit.

This is happening!!! Well, I'm being "screened". So it doesn't sound 100% yet, but this could actually be happening.

I responded, letting the nurse know I was not currently taking birth control and that I should be starting my period this coming Tuesday. She replied saying that it was "No problem" and that Dr. B may just want to go straight in to the cycle." Straight in to the cycle?

Holy. Shit.

This thing that I just worked so hard for. This thing that destroyed my body and broke my heart. This thing I swore I would not put myself through again is actually happening. Happening again. Happening soon. Happening to us. And I couldn't be happier. Because, while I can still feel the hurt from last round, my son reminds me every day of the love and joy that can come from this process.

And thus, the cycle continues... and so does the blog.

Now excuse me while I attempt to lose 41 pounds and raise $8,000 by Tuesday.

#IVF #weighloss #fertility #infertility #Whole30