Charted Territory

As this fertility journey continues, my fertility chart grows. This process, which we began in May, has taken on a life of its own. Pages and pages of me lay on a table at HRC, documenting our journey and charting the next steps. My heart is in that file, along with the measurements of my uterine lining and detailed notes on my cervix.

It sometimes hurts to see how large and tattered the file has become. Fraying at the edges; the binder clips beginning to buckle. I know exactly how it feels.

I received my new calendar for this frozen embryo transfer and it looks much simpler than the previous cycles. I only have a total of three appointments and, aside from my daily progesterone injections and one HCG trigger shot, all my meds are oral. Can I get a hallelujah?

I had my first appointment yesterday morning. I couldn't quite find the words to thank Dr. B for gifting us this round when I saw him. I'm so grateful for this man. I'm also tired and my endless optimism is beginning to waver.

So, instead of a tearful thank you hug and kind words, I instead laid spreadeagle on the exam table and cracked a few jokes. It's what I do best.

Within minutes the exam was over and the plan laid out.

We will transfer three blastocysts on November 11.

Three blastocysts.

We discussed the risk of multiples, but given these blastocysts have not been genetically tested, it is highly unlikely that all three are healthy. It's unlikely that even two are healthy. Basically we will be lucky if one survives and sticks.

Dr. B mentioned that he thinks a bigger risk factor than multiples will be getting pregnant with a non-viable embryo. It's happened to us before naturally, but it's a risk we are willing to take.

If we do get pregnant, at Week 10 they will run a blood test to see if the baby is healthy and we will take it from there.

The motto of this round is "baby steps". The irony is not lost on me.

Until then, we take it date by date. We follow the chart. My next appointment is Nov 2, where I get "scratched." The official term is "endometrial activation." They basically stick what I envision to be a fish scaler up my hoohah and irritate my uterus. But that's a whole other blog.

Next, I begin the drugs. Then, we put three baby blastos in on November 11. The week of Thanksgiving, we will know if any took and if indeed I am pregnant. If I am, then comes another calendar and we plan our steps from there.

So here we go again. Wish us well on this journey. It's charted territory. But we have to look forward. Hope for smooth waters and believe that this time we will reach our dream destination.