Scratch that

Well, today was the day. Endo Activation Day. To be honest, I was nervous.

I had heard that the procedure was going to hurt like hell for 10-20 seconds as they scratched my womb. It's a procedure I've never done before so I wasn't sure what to expect, and had only been promised "strong discomfort."

The whole idea behind the scratch is that it aids in the implantation of the embryo(s). It's still being researched and success rates vary. But that tiny embryo needs a place to burrow in, and ideally, this is it.

First up was the ultrasound, performed by a new technician. She was checking my uterine lining to be sure it was ripe and ready. She was sweet and taken aback by how candid and occasionally borderline inappropriate my jokes were about my own lady bit, but soon enough we were giggling together and she was explaining, step by step, what she was looking for.

Despite some spotting earlier this week, I am happy to report that my uterus is doing just great! The lining was a nice 9.5 (they want between 8-11) and I had the "perfect" trilaminar lining. I was so proud of my three lovely layers that I took a picture of them. You are welcome.

Next up: The scratch. Dr. B came in with my favorite nurse and I assumed the position. I lay spreadeagle on the exam table as the cold clamp was inserted to make a path to my promised land. We were doing our usual witty banter and I secretly clenched the table, making the paper crunch and tear, terrified of the pain.

And then it happened. Or at least Dr B said it happened. The scratch. My endo had been activated … and I didn't feel a thing.

They gave me a large pad that I imagine the Golden Girls would wear, assuming any of them were still menstruating, warned me of spotting and that was that.

Dr. B told my favorite nurse that we would be defrosting three of the five blastocysts (the prettiest, smartest and kindest ones, of course) and putting all three in on the 11th. He ended the conversation with the perfect mix of confidence and enthusiasm. He looked me in the eyes, patted me on my knee, and said "Let's get this done!"

"Making a baby with you is so romantic," I joked, as I leaned in and gave him a hug. I pulled away quickly when I felt the sudden urge to ruin the moment by spewing out all my undying gratitude to this man who gave us our son and is working so tirelessly to help grow our family. I was led back to a consult room to review the rest of the calendar of meds and injections. This frozen transfer is a LOT easier than a retrieval paired with a fresh transfer… so much easier that I don't have that much to write about. It's been all pills so far and I begin my injections this weekend.

So many of you have been so supportive as this never-ending journey continues, and I couldn't be more grateful, despite my sometimes melancholy mood about the whole topic.

I've been tired, and honestly, this round hasn't really felt that real. Until today.

To all those who've heard my "I'm just ready for it to be over" speech, scratch that. I'm just ready to be pregnant. So, "Let's get this done!"