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Berry Christmas

For anyone keeping count, today I am 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant. My app tells me the two tiny souls that will someday terrorize my house, eat all my food and inevitably make me cry multiple times a day, are now the size of blueberries.

Two tiny blueberries are wreaking havoc on my body, and I am grateful for the constant reminder that they are here. Also, I've lost 3 pounds because I want to throw up constantly. I'm also tired ... SO tired. This morning I got up to pee (another fun pregnancy bonus) and I sat there another 10 minutes after peeing because I was just too tired to imagine getting myself back to bed. Finally, with a red ring imprint around my rump, I dragged myself the 30 feet back to bed just in time for my toddler alarm clock to go off at 6:30 am sharp, and a new day of adventures began.

I asked Lloyd to hold a few blueberries in hopes of taking a sweet picture, but I made the mistake of handing him the carton and he ate almost all his representative brothers and sisters before I returned with the camera. There were only 5 left ... and he ate those while I attempted to focus the lens. No easy task when his hands are traveling at light speed to his mouth. So, here is the best we could do ...

Wednesday's ultrasound was my first appointment with my regular OB. He is a kind man and he delivered my first son. He is soft spoken and reassuring, and I had forgotten how much he doesn't think I'm funny. Note to self, no more jokes. I made a lot of jokes and the room was very ... quiet.

The appointment began with one of my favorite nurses leading me back to the room to go over my chart.

"So.... four pregnancies and one live birth?" There was some confusion since Lloyd's sister was a "Vanishing twin". The nurse and I sat there awkwardly counting the number of losses I'd had. First pregnancy: miscarriage. Second Pregnancy: Vanishing twin and 1 healthy live birth. Third Pregnancy: Miscarriage. Fourth Pregnancy: Present. Please let them be present.

I was moved to the special room with the ultrasound machine. He showed me each baby. First, Baby A. I could see their paddle arms flailing around as their heart beat a mile a minute. He pointed out all the body parts. I nodded and pretended like it looked like something more than a black and white blob on the screen. Then on to Baby B, and we did the same.

Fun Fact: Did you know Baby A and Baby B are decided by who is on bottom? The bottom baby gets top billing because it will be the first one to make its entrance in to the world.

Dr. N has been with me since the beginning. He was the first one to let me listen to our little girl's heartbeat years ago. He was the one who had to tell us when she was gone and held my hand as I cried. He is the one who performed my D&C and called me with the Trisomy 15 results afterwards and stayed on the line with me as I tried to get my questions out through the sobs. This man knows our history and has been there to hold my hand every step of the way. And somehow he still doesn't think I'm funny ... I'm working on that part.

Despite my attempt to be guarded, I'm getting quite excited about these tiny people growing inside me. Dr. N gently reminded me that we really need to wait till the 10-week mark before we get too excited. I thought it was 12 weeks. Ten sounds like a bargain. I just got two weeks shaved off my sentence! I immediately started doing the math. I was seven weeks and three days pregnant. Two and a half weeks is ... January 2nd. The day my husband proposed to me 7 years ago. January 2nd is our 10-week mark. I just need to make it to next year. He also told me there are blood tests that can be done to determine the health of the babies at 10 weeks, something I didn't think existed for twin pregnancies. Dan and I had already agreed that we were going to refuse an amniocentesis, so we are thrilled that we have other options. Their health is our number one concern and that blood test cannot come soon enough.

I asked a few more questions and then Dr. N. sent me on my way with plenty of samples of prenatal vitamins and a pamphlet on "what to expect with twins." I haven't had a chance to read it yet because I have a toddler who still thinks he's an only child and isn't prepared to sacrifice anytime playing hockey with Mommy so she can read a boring pamphlet.

I assume it says something like "This is going to be fucking hard" with underlying tones of "you may need Xanax and booze."

Life is already changing because of these two. Let's hope they live up to their end of the bargain. Now I'm off to get my deep muscle injection of progesterone (pack your bags embryos - we're going on a guilt trip). And then off to bed. YES at 7:44pm at night. Why? Because I'm growing two humans and it is exhausting. Until next time... Sweet dreams.

#Twinpregnancy #IVFbabies #Firsttrimester

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